But whether you’re newly single, are unhappy in your relationship or don’t have family or friends living close by, it can also be a pretty lonely time. There are several different forms of loneliness, FYI – you could have an awesome partner and a loving family but miss seeing friends. Or maybe you’re out every night, but lack the intimacy of a close relationship. We’ve identified three types of loneliness, so read on to see if you’re affected, and how you can strengthen your connections this Christmas.
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YOU’RE SICK OF BEING SINGLE IF: You’ve been out of a relationship for more than six months.
You have great friends but sometimes feel “empty” after a night out.
You crave physical contact You might have a top group of friends and close family you love. But nothing’s quite the same as having an intimate relationship. It’s natural to want a partner, says relationship counsellor Andrew Marshall. “We’re social animals and, while it’s a good idea to be single for a few months after a relationship ends, being single for [a long time] may indicate an unhealthy pattern.” You may be happy being single but if not, here’s what to do. Your festive fix: Use your Christmas downtime to try to identify patterns in your past relationships.
Perhaps you’ve often got hooked on the excitement of being with a bad boy – or maybe you’ve “comfort dated”; going for people who made you feel safe, even if you weren’t particularly attracted to them. Try to understand why you’ve made these choices in the past (and be aware, says Marshall, that it’s common to date opposing types in an unconscious bid to solve the same issue) because awareness is an important first step. Now think about ways you can meet more suitable potential partners. This social time of year is good for creating what Marshall calls “bridging groups” – casual acquaintances who could introduce you to someone great for you.
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