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You tend to spend more on them. You spoil them to make up for not seeing them. You want, need their love and it’s the only way you can satisfy yourself you can still do something for them without actually being at home… He’s getting further and further away because he’s getting less dependent on me.

Divorced fathers also miss the small pleasures of life at home with their children, watching their progress and sharing unselfconsciously in the rituals of their daily life. As a result, weekend visits are eagerly anticipated and carefully planned, so that everything will work out exactly right, with none of the minor conflicts or inevitable patches of boredom which characterize ordinary’ family life. As Keith explained:

You think if you scold him or tell him off in any way you won’t see him next week. He might say, I don’t want to see daddy next week.’

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