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Whatever age we are, many of us find change disturbing and unsettling and we respond by clinging even more closely to familiar
routines and landmarks. Children are often more obvious about this and their first questions after being told that their parents are splitting up may seem startlingly callous or materialistic: If we move house, will there be room for my rabbit?’, Will I still be getting a new bicycle for Christmas?’
When they find explanations and long-term consequences hard to absorb they try to work out how the new situation will affect the framework of their own lives, their friendships, their daily routine and the relationships which give them security. Similarly, concern about how this will affect each of their parents is likely to be demonstrated in very practical terms. Questions like Who will iron daddy’s shirts if he lives on his own?’ and Won’t Mum be cold in bed all on her own?’ mirror preoccupations less easily put into words.