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Despite the fact that many people now openly live together without being married and that such partnerships enjoy a much greater measure of public acceptance than they used to, some couples still choose to present themselves as being married from the moment they start living together. Some may simply not bother to challenge the assumption made by strangers that they are a married couple, but for others it involves a much more positive attempt to create the joint identity as a married couple for which they both long and for which one or both of them has endured the pain of ending an earlier marriage. Such deception creates its own strains. Even when they move to a new area where they are unlikely to meet people from their previous lives, they find themselves editing their conversation and constructing elaborate explanations for incongruous elements of their different pasts. If they cut themselves off from their families and former friends in order to pass as married, they may become very isolated, constantly afraid of some unhappy reminder of the past, longing for the day when, the legal formalities complete, they can make it official. Such eager anticipation of a time in the future when, safely remarried, all their problems will be over, can actually prevent them from facing the difficulties endemic to their situation. At a personal level one or both of them has had little or no opportunity to come to terms with the end of their previous marriage if they feel they should always be acting like young lovers or even newly-weds while knowing that they have sacrificed much and caused other people a good deal of

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