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Couples who enjoy a good sexual relationship at first find that sexual difficulties arise when other aspects of their relationship begin to deteriorate. Sex becomes a battlefield from which it is easier to withdraw rather than risk rejection or humiliation. Mr Turner described how his former wife had ended his confidence through her constant complaints about his failure to satisfy her:

I’d lost interest, lack of confidence shall I say, rather than losing interest. It was the confidence side of it that was the problem. When all the knives are thrown, they’re usually thrown at you in that respect by your former partner … it scarred me for a long, long time.

Many people find that relationships with few strings attached provide an opportunity to reaffirm, or perhaps to discover for the first time, confidence in their own sexuality and to blot out negative images of the unsatisfactory or unresponsive lover pressed upon them by former partners.


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