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Understandably, mothers sometimes test the power which custody gives them by insisting that their children do not meet their father’s partner. This causes problems for everyone. If the father and his new girlfriend are living together it becomes” difficult for
him to take his children home, and their times together have to be limited to trips to the pictures and meals out. Longer overnight visits which would give their mother a change and rest and would involve him in ordinary routines with his children are impossible unless he asks his girlfriend to disappear for a night or two, a request which is likely to put a strain on any new relationship. If he defies his ex-wife’s wishes he risks losing access altogether and puts his children under an unnecessary strain if they feel they have to edit their accounts of what happened when they stayed with their father. There are no easy answers – workable solutions are only reached when everyone, including the children, exercise some restraint.