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Whenever children cry and are obviously upset, we try to comfort them, reassuring them that we will try to get rid of whatever is making them sad, so what is more natural than to suggest that contact with their father is not good’ for them? It is hard for many divorced mothers to appreciate that they cannot shield their children from the pain of losing a parent who has formerly been an essential element in the security of their daily life. Perhaps the best we can do to help children of any age who face this kind of loss is to share their sorrow, giving them permission’ to grieve for the past and the opportunity to discover that, for both children and adults, the experience of joy and sorrow are closely related:

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